In my happiness is my grief

In my happiness is my grief.

In my happiness is my upsurge grief,
for it propels into many ifs
and superfluous whys and the
lasting happiness quirks back
if I am otherwise , caught in the Web,
what would have been my predicament?
I continue to ponder, what would
happen had I been a lone tree,
had I been a marooned ship,
for the insurmountable surging
acrobatic like misdeeds weighing
heavily upon us, once, for decades
shaped in twists and debacles, and even now,
but, at least an awareness , a solution
creeps, manna like Divine Succour:
again veering round to the
recent phenomenon, a question,
puzzling, sensible grief, grief.